So-and-so used to date What-cha-ma-jigger. What's-his-face cheated on his wife and left the country. Thingy had her jaw rebuilt and the scars to prove it. Whosit has a new girlfriend - don't tell Whatsit. Thing-a-ma-whumpus has quit his job and opening up shop here. Thing-ma-jigger is being sued by What-ch-ma-callit.
That's today's gossip. You didn't hear it from me.