Tuesday, August 09, 2005

once bit

I was bitten by a two year old child at a bbq last weekend. I have never seen this kid in my life. I am generally good with kids. he was jumping on a couch. I attempted to play along as he made "kung fu" moves at me. the next thing I know he lurched and voila I had a child attached to my forearm. my first instinct was to try and pull away. that was probably a bad choice as his teeth just dug in deeper. I finally pried him off and stumbled back out to the bbq stunned, screaming, "I just got bit!" I showed the red swelling teeth marks on my arm to anyone who would listen and all the parents looked, turned away and then nonchalantly said, "oh yeah, we forgot to tell you. He does that."

Hello? "He does that?"

A few minutes later monster child comes running up the walk and does a flying leaping spit. the little blob landed just in front of me. the bbq party goes, "ohhhhhhhh." who is responsible for this demon and can we get an intervention here? no reaction from his parent who was savouring a marinated chicken wings. very surreal and bizarre.

monster child was literally kept at spitting distance for the rest of the afternoon. I was traumatized for about 5 days.

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